Hot Mess Mondays: Why Do U.S. Artists Suck???

Guess who’s back! And, I’m back full force. After my longest hiatus ever, I think it’s definitely time for a real return. Not to mention, the Billboard Awards took place last night and there’s a lot of people to call out for their hot messness. Let’s get it!

1) Chris Brown for TERRIBLE lip-synching.

Usually, I give Brown a free pass since he literally dances his ass off. BUT, last night, his lips were so out of sync with the track that I absolutely had to put him on this list. Watch Chris’ performance below.

I do better than that singing in front of the mirror….

Sidenote: Why did he borrow Harriet Tubman’s headscarf for this performance….I’m just sayin’.

2) Katy Perry for another horrible vocal.

I heart this song, but O.M.G. At least Rihanna can start a song off right. Katy was horrible from the very beginning. I think it’s time for Ms. Perry to consider playback.

p.s. Didn’t Pink twirl around once above the stage and sound A-mazing doing it?

Yup….that’s what I thought.

3) Justin Bieber for failing to sell me on his new single.

I saw Bieber perform “Boyfriend” on The Voice. His performance was okay, but he could’ve done better.

Now, he’s done worse. I just think boo boo needs to let his voice finish changing because that awkward squeaking is doing the absolute most. Maybe Chris Brown should give him one of his free passes….

4) Nelly Furtado for confusing the hell out of me.

I don’t know whether I liked her performance or not. It was Pop/Rock/Hip Hop? The only real adjective that for sure fits this song is LOUD. lol Maybe it will grow on me….

5) The Wanted for making the U.S. look real bad.

They’re hot and talented?! I am so sold on this U.K. manband. **HOT**

BTWs I have to give Usher some credit here because he sang AND danced AND sounded really good doing both. Hollers old man!

If only he would cut that scruff!

Hot Mess Mondays: Chris Brown Back At It

And not in the right ways…..

Let’s get it!

1) Chris Brown for getting into more trouble.

Apparently, Chris stole a girl’s cell phone last month after partying in Miami. Now, he could be faced with both robbery and assault charges. Although it sounds like he probably won’t be going to jail, it’s still a hot ashy mess. Moisturize your ego Breezy!

2) Ben F. for that haaaaair!

I can’t believe this kid went on national television to find a wife with this hair. Without a doubt, he has the worst hair in Bachelor history. Sometimes you just gotta get your ears lowered…

3) Snooki for being preggers…

I’m just sad about this for selfish reasons. This news will definitely change something about my reality TV watching. Sigh…I guess I can watch Snooki with a baby meatball. I just hope she makes a decent mother…

Oh, the celebrity life…lol

Hot Mess Mondays: Rihanna and Chris Hit The Studio

All I’m going to say is that Rihanna is making it very hard for people to hate Chris Brown, her ex-boo….

Let’s get it!

1) Rihanna for featuring Chris Brown on her single “Birthday Cake.”

Take a listen!

I’m not going to lie. I love the beat of this song! It’s so catchy! BUT, the lyrics are a bit vulgar….and I find it interesting that these two used this song to come back together. Definitely not sending the best message.

2) Chris Brown for featuring Rihanna on his single “Turn Up The Music.”

Check it out below!

Actually, Chris Brown’s pretty smart. His single is lighthearted and fun. As the main singer on this one, it’s good that he didn’t come up with something along the lines of “Birthday Cake.” Just wouldn’t be the best idea for HIS single…

Anyways, these two are going to be the only ones on this list today. Their singles have already sparked enough controversy to last months. I guess I’ll have to get used to the constant Chris Brown, Rihanna talks again.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. I don’t really care what these two do as long as they stay out of trouble and make good music. And quite frankly, why should I care?  These two have basically  given the middle finger to the world anyways. At the end of the day, what goes on between the two of them is private. However, domestic violence is a serious and should be acknowledged – I just refuse to continue bashing Chris Brown when I know a lot of those other heifers in the industry are probably doing the same thing…Side-eye.

Read what the LA Times has to say! —> Chris Brown and Rihanna

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Hot Mess Mondays: WTF Nicki Minaj…

I’ve been gone for a minute now, but last night’s Grammys have brought me back in full force. There was so much ashiness going on that I had to present some type of commentary.

1) Nicki Minaj for just being a hot mess.

Honestly, I can’t find the appropriate words to use to describe her performance last night because the language I’m thinking of is inappropriate for this blog. With that said, I don’t know what hellfire Nicki Minaj decided  to appear from, but I know it wasn’t the usual devil’s. Honestly, I’m tired of Nicki, Gaga, Perry, and the likes. All of these heifers are trying to be so weird and “different” that they’re all becoming the same person. Not to mention, their music is so ashy that it’s starting to crack my eardrums. At least Madonna made good Pop music. Get it together ladies!

2) Rihanna for making me believe…..

Every time Rihanna performs, I decide to give her the benefit of the doubt. After all, in recent years, she’s been improving as a live performer (After terrible concert sales, Jay-Z was probably like “*^&(% you betta work!”). Unfortunately, last night ended up being another example of why I will never purchase homegirl’s concert ticket. Rihanna started off okay. She was even on key for the most part… Then, it was time for her performance with Coldplay….

Doesn’t she hear herself??? I would advocate for her to use playback, but if she did that she wouldn’t have a career. Boo boo is not Britney status.

By the way, this was Rihanna a few years ago….

You know Jay-Z said something. Heifer didn’t even hit one note! #Fail

3) Chris Brown for constantly making my Newsfeed.

Personally, I’ve forgiven Chris enough for his past to not care about him performing on the Grammys. However, I know that a lot of people haven’t. I guess the point is that he should’ve never hit a woman and then blown up my inbox.

p.s. He had an awesome performance last night as always. Maybe I would be more excited about this Chris Brown at the Grammys debate, but honestly he’s already performed everywhere else. This is just another award show in my mind. The End.

Check out Brown’s performance below….

And, in other news…

This weekend marked a sad time in the music industry when Whitney Houston passed. Thank goodness we have Jennifer Hudson to sing such beautiful tributes. Between her and Adele, the Grammys weren’t a complete waste of my time.

We love you Whitney!

Whitney Houston

(1963-2012) 

And, just for kicks….

Take some pointers Rihanna!

Hot Mess Mondays: Why They So Ashy?!

There’s a new descriptor in town folks and it’s ASHY! No, not ashy as in white cracked skin or the Gross sisters from The Proud Family. Ashy as in stank, hoodrat, disappointing, incomprehensible, and well….you get the point.

Let’s get it!

1) Beyonce for being another celeb.

I actually do like Beyonce. She’s talented and can sell her ashy songs to almost anybody. Yet, I’m a little disappointed that she’s hopped onto the celebrity bandwagon with her baby’s name, Blue.

Everyone can pretty much assume that celebrities are going to name their child something “unique.” For what it’s worth, I like Blue Ivy Carter. It’s got a good ring to it.

2) Common and Drake for having ashy knuckles.

Does anyone know/care why these two are fighting? Maybe we should just give them some vaseline, so they can grease their knuckles and  duke it out like men…

p.s. I don’t actually condone physical violence…well, for something as silly as this. lol

3) Jersey Shore for not being ashy enough?

Apparently, Jersey Shore’s ratings were down about 14% from last season’s premiere episode. Some media outlets are starting to wonder if people are getting bored of the show. The more”realistic” drama has cranked down some, making way for some unbelievably questionable storylines.

I admit that I’ll be watching Jersey Shore until it takes a permanent hiatus. Until then, these young Italians could be using a lot less tanning oil.

Side note: The Jersey Shore premiere had roughly 7.6 million viewers. People are definitely still watching.

ALSO, is it just me or does Pauly D look like Vejeta from Dragon Ball Z?!

Pauly D

Vejeta

Sorry, undercover nerd moment….lol

4) Jenny McCarthy for thinking she’s not ashy.

While watching Access Hollywood, I learned that Jenny McCarthy won’t be doing Dancing With The Stars anytime soon. Apparently, the show doesn’t get enough A-listers like her…Am I missing something? Since when was Jenny McCarthy an A-lister?

Someone needs to get off their high horse and moisturize….

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Hot Mess Mondays: I’m Rick Perry and I Approve This Message

Let’s get it!

1) Rick Perry for approving his own message…

Rick Perry is lucky that he’s an attractive man…Otherwise, this ad would be even more questionable. I personally didn’t know that Obama started a war on religion, but it’s nice to learn something new. *Side-eye*

2) Real World casting directors for not doing their jobs.

Sometimes Real World is entertaining, and sometimes it’s not. Last season, the Vegas cast provided me with an undeniable amount of entertainment. This season, however, the San Diego kids just suck. I can’t think of one cast member that is actually fun to watch. Frank is psycho. Ashley, Alex, and Priscilla don’t really add much at all. Sam, Nathan, and Zach are cool, but nothing else. Basically, this season was a fail. Why I continue to watch? I have no idea….

3) Twilight: Breaking Dawn for that insane birth scene.

I’m not really a Twilight fan and have never watched any of the other movies, but surprisingly I liked Breaking Dawn. Well, I did until the pregnancy part at least. For those of you, who have seen the movie, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Vampires make some disgustingly powerful fetuses.

4) Kristen Stewart for just being a hot mess.

Since we’re on the subject of Twilight, we can talk about how much I hate watching Kristen Stewart. She is so aaaaawkward! Not to mention, she’s a pretty mediocre actress. Why someone decided to cast her as Snow White is beyond me. All I know is that the trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman had me hooked until I saw Stewart’s face….Sigh.

Check out Snow White below!

Love Charlize Theron and Thor! haha

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Hot Mess Mondays: Grow Up Bieber!

Okay, I might get some heat for this one, BUT….

1) Justin Bieber for growing into womanhood.

I know that I’ve already put him on this countdown once for this, but I just can’t get over the girlie-faced popstar. When most boys grow up, they get…well…manlier. I don’t know if higher testosterone levels are in Bieber’s future, but one can only hope. After all, it took Zac Efron a while, and he turned out just fine.

Zac Efron

p.s. This will be my last post about Bieber’s look. Poor thing can’t help it.

2) Nicki Minaj for her “new” single featuring Rihanna.

Okay, is it just me, or did Nicki Minaj release “Fly” last year? Radio stations and websites are calling it a new single, and it’s bothering me because I’m pretty sure I was singing this LAST summer. Maybe I’m just a little tired of Ms. Minaj….and her sidekick RiRi.

3. Bishop Eddie Long for being in denial.

Even though his wife has filed for divorce, Eddie Long is choosing to remain optimistic about his marriage. According to Eddie, he and his wife love each other and are not mad at each other…

Yeah right! If any of the black women I know were in the middle of an Eddie Long sex scandal, they would be mad. There’s nothing positive about a cheating husband. And, there’s definitely nothing positive about a cheating husband who is involved with young boys….Side-eye. I won’t judge Bishop Long. I’ll leave that up to his Father.

Note to Men: Women can “forgive” you when things unfold behind closed doors, not in the national news.

4. The creators of New Year’s Eve for making New Year’s Eve.

One can only hope that this movie won’t suck, but alas this is another product of Hollywood…New Year’s Eve  comes out this Friday, December 9th in theaters.

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Hot Mess Mondays: Diva Much

It’s late. I’m tired. Let’s hurry up and get it!  ;-)

1) Mariah Carey for being the definition of Diva.

I wasn’t able to watch Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s interview with Barbara Walters, but apparently Ms. Mariah wasn’t the nicest….When asked if she trusted Nick, she replied “Sometimes…” and the ragging didn’t stop there. Sigh…I love Mariah Carey and all, but I think she needs to be a little nicer to her baby boo.

2. Beyonce for releasing another music video.

Remember when Lady Gaga had about 5 million music videos on YouTube before anyone knew who she was? Yeah, well a preggers Beyonce seems to be following in Gaga’s footsteps with all these music videos… She’s set to release another one for her song “Party” tomorrow.

It’s okay B. No one will forget about you once you have your baby. If anything, you might be in the spotlight more than ever. Therefore, RELAX! haha

3. This random boy for being the next YouTube star. Well maybe…

His parents just set him up for life…Good job. HAHA!

4. Obama for bringing traffic to a halt in LA.

Now, I don’t live in LA any longer, but this story just brings back bad memories of when I was stuck in Westwood because of Obama.

**Side-eye**

p.s. Can we discuss how I came home today and saw a ballot on my bed…That was the last thing I wanted to see…haha

Hot Mess Mondays: Blacks Weren’t Meant To Fly

When you’re black, you get away with the best titles….Let’s get it!

1) Rick Ross for traveling after having seizures.

Is it just me or is Rick Ross being a hot mess? After having two separate seizures aboard two separate airplanes, Ross doesn’t seem to have any intention of slowing down. Now, I’m not a doctor….But, if I have any type of seizure, my butt is staying grounded until someone figures out what’s wrong with me.

2) Beyonce for having a baby bump that does weird things.

Okay, I don’t even know how to approach this story. Word on the street has been that Beyonce is not really pregnant and has been wearing a prosthetic baby bump.

Everyone is talking, including Ms. Wendy Williams. See the clip below.

Although Wendy can be a little extra, Beyonce’s bump does look weird both in the video and in the photo above. Baby bumps definitely do not squish like that.

Personally, I don’t think that Beyonce is lying about being pregnant. Lying would just be psychotic, and I think she’s one of the more sane celebrities out there. With that said, I do think that Beyonce could be wearing a fake bump because it looks better in pictures. Everyone knows a bigger bump gets more oohs and aahs than a slightly fat stomach. Just sayin’…

3) Linday Lohan for not getting it together.

Apparently, Ms. Lohan has been violating her probation by not seeing her therapist regularly. Sigh…I guess one more year in jail isn’t that bad.

Speaking of jail, is T.I. back in jail yet? I tried keeping track of his freedom, but that just got too complicated.

4) The people behind the latest Charlie’s Angels for failing to see its flop factor.

After just 4 episodes, ABC has decided to cancel Charlie’s Angels. What a surprise…

Now, I’m usually not a fan of remakes. Actually, I think all remakes should die! haha  Some of them, however, have been surprisingly entertaining like the Charlie’s Angels starring Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, and Lucy Liu. I just don’t think enough time has passed since the last movie installment for the TV show to be a hit.

p.s. This weekend’s box office is filled with remakes (i.e. Footloose and The Thing). I’m so sad that they remade Footloose. The original was SO good! And, no one can replace Kevin Bacon. Please.

In all honesty, I didn’t even realize Footloose was out in theaters. If you’re like me and clueless, then you can take a look at the trailer below.

Side note: Going back to the beginning of this post – if you think my title is true, then you’re an idiot. Blacks were definitely meant to fly.  ;-)

Seeeeeee! Ugh, I cannot wait for this movie!

 

 

Hot Mess Mondays: Straight Stanky

There are so many people out here nowadays that are straight STANKY! I can’t call out the ones in my actual life, so I’ll just have to settle for the celebs instead. Let’s get it!

1) Chris Brown for getting banned in the UK.

Okay…Honestly, Brown hasn’t been that stanky as of late. He’s just on this list for constantly being in the media. Earlier last week, it was the questionable tweets and now it’s this UK ban. With that said, the UK is stanky for banning Breezy from performing. Like WTF?

I get it. Boo boo messed up and put some boo boos on Rihanna’s face…..BUT not letting him perform seems a tad bit extreme if you ask me. Whatever though…I live in America where drug dealers, cokeheads, wife-beaters, rapists, and the like are allowed to perform…. Side-eye!

2) Christina Aguilera for distracting the public with her outfits.

As you guys know, I love me some X-Tina. She’s def one of my favorite singers. No matter what anyone says, she usually kills when it comes to the mic. Unfortunately, her outfit choices continue to take the attention off of her voice.

During the Michael Jackson tribute concert in Cardiff, Wales,  X-Tina performed “Dirty Diana” and smashed it. Yet, everyone is talking about her attire….I have to admit – it wasn’t the most flattering ensemble….We can do better X-tina. YES WE CAN!

3) Snooki for just being stanky!

Snooki has made this list on several occasions, and she will continue to do so unless she gets an attitude adjustment. I love Snooki and all of her pig noises, but homegirl is turning into a little diva if you ask me. The way she treats Jenny is such a mess. Face it Snooki. You’re stanky and your biffle is just trying to air you out.

Luv her though! lol

4) Beyonce for stealing more dance moves.

Sooooo, Beyonce sees videos on YouTube, then decides that she can do them even better…haha I think she just needs to give people some more credit. Talk about how they inspired her in an interview or something! And like before the public finds the copycat footage on YouTube…Just sayin’….

Check out Mrs. Copycat Carter below.

Although Beyonce copies, she’s still fierce even when preggers with a little B-Z!

p.s. I felt like this post needed to end with some music, and the song below seemed the most appropriate…

Don’t judge me…lol  Lowkey, Beyonce copied this dance too for her “Run The World (Girls)” video.